Dear gods and little unicorns...

[sepdet]

... I didn't think that there could ever be a worse website than the infamous Glaucoma, Glaucoma site of the mid 2000s (back when bandwidth was much more of an issue):

... but WebPagesThatSuck.com has just turned up something even more terrifying.

I present you with a webpage that truly epitomizes the phrase "Jesus freaks."

WARNING: FLASHING STROBE EFFECT. Possibly migraine-inducing even if you don't get migraines.

So. Are you braced? Are you sitting down? Are you wearing sunglasses? Behold the horror.

I'm partial to the heavenly chorus of Jedi angels cooking popcorn with their lightsabres.

ETA: I dared to run the javascript. It should be virus-free, as Webpagesthatsuck.com does malware checks; it simply plays a goofy 90s MIDI music file to accompany the graphics.

ETA2: On closer inspection, the animated gif representing the Supreme Being is suffering from Nearly Headless Nick sydrome.

Comments

[flynn_the_cat]

*whimpers and covers eyes, blindly groping to close browser*

WHY DID I CLICK?

[flynn_the_cat]

So I passed this on.

My sister clicked (foolishly) and her comments are as follows

"Um
what why
no cannot
help

aaaselfhu;wiroystf g
mind broken by the internet"

Give my apologies to your sister for brain damage.

[sepdet]

Never has this userpic been more apt.

The trouble is, I have an infantile and quirky sense of humor, so when something reaches a certain level of badness, I start laughing hysterically.

[radish]

Well, it is strangely hypnotic. I'll give them that.

[sepdet]

It's growing on me. I think I need to call my therapist for an emergency appointment.

Even knowing what's coming, I still burst into gales of helpless laughter before the first screen has scrolled up.

Banjo.
Playing.
Rooster.
With
a chick
sitting
behind its anus.

This is the webpage that just keeps on giving.

ETA: excuse me, it's an electric guitar, not a banjo. My brain is having trouble making sense of what I'm seeing.

[akycha]

Are they really cooking popcorn? I am afraid to load it!

[sepdet]

After recovering my sanity, I realize that the Jedi Angel animated gif (repeated in a cross formation, of course) is supposed to be an angel with a flaming sword. So the confetti cloud of white dots flying about must be sparks, not popcorn. But the flaming swords look like pink lightsabers to me.

Basically this is all the religious animated gifs from the early nineties arranged in an acid trip, but such an acid trip that it descends to the depths of hell, quite literally. I found myself laughing out loud in incredulity as the madness unfolds.

I notice that all the computer-using animated gifs are down at the bottom, just above hell. If this page is the sort of thing that the webmaster uses computers to create, I can see why.