Too funny...
Feb. 14th, 2006 11:24 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sepdetA newbie posted a thread in the Out of Middle Earth forum entitled "Can someone teach me Computer Stuff?"
The post was:
Hi, I need help with C++, hacking, and emulation. If any of you could help that would be great. Thanks.
After a few chuckles and gentle pokes about hacking from various members, Narv posted:
How to do Computer Stuff
Chapter 1: C++
The C in C++ stands for "Computer". The + stands for "Plus" and the other + stands for "More Plus". C++ was invented by Gregor Mendel in 1904 as a way of herding sheep, but has since become very popular in technological fields, especially since the introduction of the "Code" feature. The secret to learning C++ is to be as knowledgeable as possible in the field of C++, and if you're not, a basic understanding of nuclear physics and Dutch irrigation techniques is a good start. Did you know they're below sea level over there? That's just weird. And they did it all with C++!!!!
Chapter 2: Hacking
Hacking, or as they pronounce in it's native French "hagen-daas", is a very important part of Computer Stuff. All you need to know to be a successful Hacker is outlined in the following Diagram.
|=======================|
| <html> |
| <2385xyx8xwzzn52r> |
| <grrrrrrrrrrrrrr> | << (Computer)
| <allthefiles.destroyed = True> |
| </html> |
| (^ hacking code) | ___
| | (_ _) <<(A bran muffin)
|=======================| |__|
/__________\
Chapter 3: Emulation
Emulation: The great intangible. The words of revolutionary computer scientist Louis Armstrong still hold true today: "emulation is really hard, like, I almost got it this one time but then I spilled my Clamato juice on my keyboard and then the spacebar didn't work so I couldn't quite finish but I swear I was like this close man". But now, the world is on the verge of a breakthrough in Emulation Technology, and if you want a piece of the action, your best bet at learning all there is to know about emulation is to read this chapter. If that doesn't work, try reading it a few more times. In closing, I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and good luck with your newfound mastery in Emulation!!!
The EndÂ
