Wish fulfilment dreams
Mar. 15th, 2006 07:44 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sepdetFreud said in his usual overgeneralizing fashion that all dreams are wish fulfillments being worked out by the unconscious.
No but it's a common theme.
I dreamed some younger member had put a story in the writing forum which included (among many other things) two male characters who were in love in a shy, non-explicit manner.
Someone posted a gutwrenchingly nasty comment by way of reply.
I came on the scene to find well over a hundred replies of people being supportive, both straight and queer, saying it was a sweet story, there was nothing coarse or offensive about it, giving the young and nervous writer encouragement to write more. In the dream, many people had gay-friendly images.
Even Tara had stopped by to post something.
I was so grateful and stunned, because I have this odd feeling as a moderator that since I so clearly speak for the plaza, I can't speak for myself (since some people would confuse the two). I don't, anyway, because we're trying to keep the plaza from turning into a politics/religion battlezone; it's nice to have one place where one can just enjoy a simple hobby without arguing endlessly over those things. It's hard for me not to lock horns. But it hurts me each and every time I see a member say hateful things. There was one yesterday.
Hurtful comments spoken in pure ignorance don't bother me much. What I hate is when people who DO post a rebuttal argue that plaza marriages are fictional, and one should no sooner assume the members involved are queer than that those who play Minions (orcs, etc) go around killing and torturing people in real life.
Okay, now that I've written that out I see why I was upset. That's a horrifying analogy, almost worse (to me) than the prejudice. "It's okay if we have imaginary queers on the plaza; we would never go around being queers/murderers/torturers in real life."
Yes, other people made the case for "we have all kinds of members here and that sort of comment is hurtful to some of them", which I appreciate. However, this particular line of argument, which I have seen before, is not one I can accept.
This analogy would set better with me:
"Plaza marriages are fictional, and you can't make assumptions about ANY member based on IC stuff. If someone roleplays a Rider of Rohan they may never have gotten on a horse in real life."
On the plaza, IC same-sex relationships are allowed, nay even smiled at if they are silly and frivolous. But real honest-to-gosh members who love each other very much, or who roleplay a meaningful relationship between two characters as devoted to one another as as Beren and Lúthien: no, that would not sit easily with a good many members. There is no rule against it. There would simply be a groundswell of ill-feeling. Therefore, the "silly" same-sex plaza marriages sometimes feel to me like the modern equivalent of blackface.
There are many things about this community I enjoy. This is not one of them.
That dream was accompanied by powerful relief and appreciation for the wonderful members of my community, a feeling of being accepted and supportive, a feeling of respect, gratitude, and profound gladness towards all the delightfully good folks I spend a lot of time hanging out with. It was lovely. I felt at home.
And then I woke up.
And in other news, ow, ow, ow, my body hates me. Stupid neck.
No but it's a common theme.
I dreamed some younger member had put a story in the writing forum which included (among many other things) two male characters who were in love in a shy, non-explicit manner.
Someone posted a gutwrenchingly nasty comment by way of reply.
I came on the scene to find well over a hundred replies of people being supportive, both straight and queer, saying it was a sweet story, there was nothing coarse or offensive about it, giving the young and nervous writer encouragement to write more. In the dream, many people had gay-friendly images.
Even Tara had stopped by to post something.
I was so grateful and stunned, because I have this odd feeling as a moderator that since I so clearly speak for the plaza, I can't speak for myself (since some people would confuse the two). I don't, anyway, because we're trying to keep the plaza from turning into a politics/religion battlezone; it's nice to have one place where one can just enjoy a simple hobby without arguing endlessly over those things. It's hard for me not to lock horns. But it hurts me each and every time I see a member say hateful things. There was one yesterday.
Hurtful comments spoken in pure ignorance don't bother me much. What I hate is when people who DO post a rebuttal argue that plaza marriages are fictional, and one should no sooner assume the members involved are queer than that those who play Minions (orcs, etc) go around killing and torturing people in real life.
Okay, now that I've written that out I see why I was upset. That's a horrifying analogy, almost worse (to me) than the prejudice. "It's okay if we have imaginary queers on the plaza; we would never go around being queers/murderers/torturers in real life."
Yes, other people made the case for "we have all kinds of members here and that sort of comment is hurtful to some of them", which I appreciate. However, this particular line of argument, which I have seen before, is not one I can accept.
This analogy would set better with me:
"Plaza marriages are fictional, and you can't make assumptions about ANY member based on IC stuff. If someone roleplays a Rider of Rohan they may never have gotten on a horse in real life."
On the plaza, IC same-sex relationships are allowed, nay even smiled at if they are silly and frivolous. But real honest-to-gosh members who love each other very much, or who roleplay a meaningful relationship between two characters as devoted to one another as as Beren and Lúthien: no, that would not sit easily with a good many members. There is no rule against it. There would simply be a groundswell of ill-feeling. Therefore, the "silly" same-sex plaza marriages sometimes feel to me like the modern equivalent of blackface.
There are many things about this community I enjoy. This is not one of them.
That dream was accompanied by powerful relief and appreciation for the wonderful members of my community, a feeling of being accepted and supportive, a feeling of respect, gratitude, and profound gladness towards all the delightfully good folks I spend a lot of time hanging out with. It was lovely. I felt at home.
And then I woke up.
And in other news, ow, ow, ow, my body hates me. Stupid neck.
